The 2010 World Cup is around the corner and foreign governments have issued warnings to tourists visiting South Africa. While all three pitched the standard murder, rape, robbery, HIV cards there are some other warnings that have been thrown about . Check it.
The Ozzies have said that tourists must have “a high degree of caution” and advised to stay away from crime hotspots while the UK government has warned visitors that you may be mugged to and from the Kruger Park. In Cape Town, Table Mountain has been flagged because of recent muggings.
The US government is the most paranoid and has mentioned xenophobic attacks, gang activity and vigilante violence. They have warned tourists to not enter the Cape Flats area, surrounding townships and informal settlements in Cape Town. They have also made horny visitors aware “to exercise appropriate precautions if engaging in sexual activity” [Times Live]
Life is Savage loves foreigners just as much as locals so as a gesture of kindness we have composed our very own Cape Town-insider list of warnings that will make you less likely to suffer any problems.
Step 1: DON’T look like this. Besides looking like a douchebag you are a walking invitation to get mugged or ripped off.
Step 2: Don’t assume everyone loves your country or even knows where it is. Lock your doors at all times. This is not Canada.
Step 3: Avoid the obviously dangerous looking places…the dark dodgy alley at night, the moonlight stroll through a deserted park ,gang hideouts etc.
Step 4: If you’re gonna take a minibus taxi..don’t get in if there are NO other passengers. Wait for the next one..there are plenty. Oh and make sure its roadworthy..4 wheels, steering wheel..you know the drill.
Step 5: Street kids can be deceptively cute but may turn into a vicious pack at the sight of money. Use caution.
Step 6: Don’t leave your towel and bag unattended at Camps Bay beach. The water is so warm and delicious that you will stay in for hours giving robbers plenty of time to use up all the credit on your phone.
Step 7: When walking up Table Mountain, do so in groups and leave expensive stuff at home. Bergies are attracted by shiny stuff and methelated spirits. Dont carry them with you.
Step 8: Do NOT pick up any Green Point street hookers. Or anywhere else for that matter. Your sh*t will shrivel up and die.